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Horrible Painting Emails Disc 3 was released on January 26, 2018. The disc includes emails #16-20.

FBI Warning

The FBI warning on Horrible Painting Emails Disc 3.

Cast (in order of appearance): Cus


{The standard FBI warning text appears on a background with constantly shifting colors.}

TEXT: Federal law provides severe civil and criminal penalties for the unauthorized reproduction, distribution or exhibition of copyrighted motion pictures, video tapes or video discs. Criminal copyright infringement is investigated by the FBI and may constitute a felony with maximum penalty of up to five years in prison and/or a $250,000 fine.

CUS: {pops up from the bottom of the screen; growls; scratches the text and walks away}


Introduction to Horrible Painting Emails Disc 3.

Cast (in order of appearance): Horrible Painting, The Goblin


{Open to HP sitting at the Grody Nine}

HP: And that's why I always put mashed potatoes in the socks of government officials and billionaires. And I haven't been caught yet! So thanks for emailing me, Mr. Gronaldface. See you nex—

RANDOM PERSON: Erhm, ehem, um, excuse me, Mr. Painting, I was wandering by and wondering if I could by perchance purchase a deevily-dee.

HP: A what? Why are you in my house? Oh, wait... {eyes widen} the DVD! I forgot all about it! Hold on a second!!

{The camera swings over to the Grody Nine. HP clicks the "Stuff" icon, and a folder opens up, where he clicks a file called "DVD". The menu selections pop up on the computer. About 30 seconds later, the camera cuts to a wide shot.}

RANDOM PERSON: Erm, uh, eheh, well, um, you see, Mr. Painting, I still am patiently and pertinently waiting for to buy my dee-ver-dee.

HP: Sorry, random person. Jeez. Some indecisive viewer is taking waaay too long to choose an option.

{Zoom in to the menu}



  • 1. Future (Sir Unpronouncablesworthingson and Sir Photo commentary)
  • 2. Somebody's Dad (Gfd, HP, and Steven commentary)
  • 3. Quick Emails (Gfd, HP, and Goblin commentary)
  • 4. Marriage (HP and Goblin commentary)
  • 5. Memories (Gfd, HP, Goblin, and The Horrible Painting commentary)

Bonus Stuff

Choose a choice, choosey!

Bonus Menu Transcript

{The camera flies through the painting, on its way to The Goblin's computer, on which the bonus menu is displayed.}

HP: Wait, is there bonus stuff?!

{After a 30 second pause, the computer starts to shift slightly to the right. Zoom out to the entire desk, where Cus is stealing the computer.}

GOBLIN: {coming in} Shoo! Come on, Cus! I know you want your own email show, but you're breaking both rules of Email Show-Have. {holds up a scroll-like document} You must not use a stolen computer, and you must be able to speak. In words. Other than growls.

CUS: Hey.

GOBLIN: {screams and runs away}

CUS: {tosses a tape recorder over his shoulder}

{Zoom in to the menu}

Fun Facts

  • The bonus stuff menu reads "Bonus Thyme".