Broternal Order Of Different Helmets/Helmet Wars

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Season 1: Episode 8

An invincible evil spirit and his henchman fight a club of helmet-wearing dumb animal characters. Who do you think will win?

Cast (in order of appearance): EDITED Video Greg, Honstlar, Gfdgsgxgzgdrc, SRMX12, Police Fireman (voice only), Strong Bad, Grindolo, The Pretender, Gfd's clone

Places: Pillquarters, The Desert

Date: Friday, September 1, 2017 - Sunday, September 17, 2017

Running Time: 5:03

Transcript

EDITED VIDEO GREG: It has come to my attention we've been stuck in a rut financially for the past couple weeks. We never paid our back taxes and the KOT is already bogarting all the settlement. There's only one thing we can do... get a new hilariously jarring and contrasting job!

HONSTLAR: Let's see... what job is there that's jarring enough for the Vid Kid?

GFDGSGXGZGDRC: Something not requiring the edit of videos...

SRMX12: Ooh, I know what you can do, Honstlar! Become a vidya game tester for Street Masher III: The Whole Roads Disintegrating!

HONSTLAR: YES! Now I can decide what glitches live or die.

GFDGSGXGZGDRC: But how do we get this job?

HONSTLAR: Talk to your local police fireman?

GFDGSGXGZGDRC: {pulls a phone from hammerspace and dials 911} Hello, police fireman? I'd like a job at the video game make place.

POLICE FIREMAN: P I Z Z A P A S T A . . . . .

GFDGSGXGZGDRC: Wait, what?!

SRMX12: Homsar? Is that you?

POLICE FIREMAN: PUT IN A BOX, DELIVER IT TO MY PLACE AND PUT IT ON—

GFDGSGXGZGDRC: Make it stoppp...

{Gfd presses a button and hangs up... or so he thinks!}

STRONG BAD: Da-na-na-naaa...

GFDGSGXGZGDRC: What's going on?!

UNKNOWN RASPY VOICE: More than you think.

HONSTLAR: Who said that? Was it a ghost?

UNKNOWN RASPY VOICE: Maybe, maybe not.

GFDGSGXGZGDRC: Gasp! Strong Sad's ghost has come back to haunt us! Again!!

{A ghost appears}

SPOOKY GHOST: Not even close.

SRMX12: Who are you?

SPOOKY GHOST: I am the almighty Grindolo! I have come for the purple-clad one.

HONSTLAR: Do you mean me?

GRINDOLO: Well, I don't see anyone else that is related to the one who sealed me away!

HONSTLAR: What are you talking about?!

GFDGSGXGZGDRC: Forgive us, O Strong Sad! I didn't eat your house! It was Gary! Yeah, yeah Gary did it! IT WAS HIM, I TELL YOU!

GRINDOLO: For the last time, I AM NOT STRONG SAD! But, if you really must know, 500 years ago I was a powerful warlock who created havoc across the countryside until Sir Honald Waddler destroyed my physical form and sealed my spirit in a cave for all eternity. That was until Honald's descendant and his band of idiots opened the cave to receive that stupid golden hat.

HONSTLAR: We freed an evil spirit when we were searching for the Golden Fedora?!

GFDGSGXGZGDRC: Quick! Somebody get the hat thing! It's our only chance.

GRINDOLO: Oh ho, no. The mystical powers of your magic hat will not work on me. I was sealed in a cave with it for five centuries, remember? Eventually I learned how to resist its powers. I am indestructible!

HONSTLAR: Well, that's inconvenient.

GRINDOLO: I also bestowed these powers unto my assistant... ahem?

OFFSCREEN VOICE: Niiice try, chumps, but you didn't defeat me yet.

HONSTLAR: I swear if that was the Pretender, I will crap a potato.

{The Pretender steps on Gfd again}

GFDGSGXGZGDRC: Nooo! My clone! He was just about to bring me a sandwich! You nefarious beast! You'll pay for your actions. Bring me a sandwich, extra bacon, light on the mayo, no electric pies, sliced evil onions, two cassette tapes, bread 10% moldy.

HONSTLAR: Hold on a tic.

{Honstlar walks over to a bird's nest and crouches, making chicken noises. He walks away from the nest, leaving behind a potato.}

HONSTLAR: There, now we can continue.

THE PRETENDER: Face it, chumps. Thanks to our immunity to the hat, you'll never defeat us!

HONSTLAR: Oh, really... {puts the Golden Fedora on} I wish that I and the rest of the BODH had cool robot powersuits!

{That happens}

GRINDOLO: Crap the what?!

GFDGSGXGZGDRC: Whoa! I have the slightest pants.

HONSTLAR: And I have the slightest arms!

THE PRETENDER: Niiice try, chump, but your robot suits were designed by me, so you still can't hurt—

{EDITED Video Greg punches the Pretender}

THE PRETENDER: OW!

EDITED VIDEO GREG: Shut up, loser!

GRINDOLO: But, those suits were made with the hat, they shouldn't work on us!

HONSTLAR: Deus Ex Machina, crap-for-ghost-brains! ROCKET FIST!

{Honstlar's robot hand launches out of his robot arm and flies towards Grindolo's undead gut}

GRINDOLO: OOF!

{The hand attaches itself back onto Honstlar's robo-arm}

GFDGSGXGZGDRC: But I didn't get my sandwich!

HONSTLAR: Your sandwich will have to wait, unpronounco man. We're in the middle of a battle that will alter the course of HISTORY!!

SRMX12: Why do all our meetings end up with us on some dangerous adventure? I just come for the snacks.

GFDGSGXGZGDRC: Me too, but I didn't get my sandwich...

GRINDOLO: I'll take that. {grabs helmet off Honstlar's head}

HONSTLAR: Uh oh, this does not look good for Honstlar Waddler.

SRMX12: Ahem!

HONSTLAR: Oh sorry, And the rest.

GRINDOLO: I wish...

EDITED VIDEO GREG: Well, we're all gonna die.

GRINDOLO: ...that Honstlar Waddler...

GFDGSGXGZGDRC: Shouldn't we do something?

EDITED VIDEO GREG: Maybe.

GRINDOLO: ...WAS DEAD!

HONSTLAR: Well, that's all folks! {poofs away}

GFDGSGXGZGDRC: NOOO!

GRINDOLO: Yes! He is dead, and there's nothing you can do about it.

SRMX12: That's what you think!

GRINDOLO: What?

SRMX12: You may be immune to the Fedora, but you clearly forgot the sequel hook from that toon!

THE PRETENDER: Niiice try, chump, that sequel hasn't happened yet!

EDITED VIDEO GREG: It will!

GRINDOLO: Not if I have any say in the matter! I wish all of you were on the other side of the world!

{What remains of the BODH appear in the desert without their robot suits}

SRMX12: Well this is just great, Honstlar is dead, an evil spirit is about to take over the world, and now we're in the middle of nowhere. WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?!

GFDGSGXGZGDRC: Two things, 1. I get my sandwich, and 2. we search for the Platinum Porkpie, defeat Grindolo, and resurrect Honstlar!

{Honstlar walks onscreen}

HONSTLAR: Hey, Garbles, I got your sandwich!

EDITED VIDEO GREG AND SRMX12: Honstlar?!

GFDGSGXGZGDRC: Sandwich?!

HONSTLAR: Yeah! Due to the fact that his spirit did not go down below, Grindolo has no concept of dumb animal death. So I got teleported here with you guys. So, what's that about the Platinum Porkpie?

EDITED VIDEO GREG: I can't believe I'm saying this, but... TO BE CONTINUED!

{Cut to a screen reading "TO BE CONTINUED"}

Easter Eggs

  • Click the "T" to see another scene in the desert.
EDITED VIDEO GREG: Boy-o's... you do realize we still never paid our back taxes, right?
HONSTLAR: D'OH!

Fun Facts

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External Links